Blogging is THE SHIT!

I am seriously enjoying blogging. I get to be the God of My own blog! It's so great. Ego in da House! I can just write all the stupid shit I want to. Hobosnacks know that turning trix is for kids! Hahah! SEE, I just wrote that, and its totally cool and fine. Fine like wine. I can lose my shit! No problem. It's ALL good. I am totally pulling a Kanye now! Maybe it's not as much of a coincidence as I thought that we have the same exact birthday. I still won't own up to Joan Rivers though! I hate plastics and QVC will not answer my calls! This is like being on drugs, the stupid shit you think and just SAY. It seems so relevent and perfect in those moments. Not to say that this feels perfect but yeah, okay. It kind of does. Masturbation I know. I love it in all it's forms! Diddle, diddle, diddle! Also, the more masturbating we each do, the happier and more satiated we will be! This could end wars! Save marriages! Prevent drunk driving! It saves lives! I am saving lives right now because instead of getting drunk and getting into a car and driving it into another car, one that is full of babies, I am blogging it out. I am saving babies! Angelina wishes she were this giving! Deepak Chopra wishes he could bring on this kind of self-love! It's a one-two punch! Drinking and blogging is not dangerous. I'm not drinking right now but I could if I wanted to. And you can read this blog drunk too! Wow! Awesome! I bet I seem crazy right now! Crazy is amazing! I'm just crazy enough to work. I'm Love love love love CRAZY love. I'm crazy about crazy. Crazy is the new black. DADA all over the place! This must be what it feels like to be a dude who yells on the subway! It's so liberating! at least I am keeping it safely on these pages where you can read it, or not read it! Who gives a shit!Freedom was illegal until blogs came out. Free yourself! It's great! I'm finally FREE! Ow!!!

P.S: Random: Wonder if the old woman in the shoe used odor eaters?
Knock, knock. Who's there?: My BLOG! Why is god such a douche in some sections of the bible and does that make the people who love him lovers of "bad boys"?

Does Febreeze really clean anything or is it just like using perfurme in medieval times (not the restaurant)?

Why do people consider it "polite" to use formalities? Shouldn't it be more flattering when someone shows their true selves and allows for true intimacy?

There are too many pink elephants in the room. Sometimes I'm the elephant, but only when I put on my "holiday" weight.

Why didn't we get any angry punks during the Bush years? The Regan years were full of punks. We get Fall Out Boy? You've got to be kidding me!

Joel is right, Chewy really did deserved an award too at the end of Star Wars: A New Hope. He's been right a lot lately. I am going to make Chewy an award! Like when colleges give out honorary degrees, only he deserves it and those people may not deserve their bullshit honorary degree. I pity the fool who paid for and earned one. I will make those fools awards too. "Search your feelings [fill in the blank]."
Over and out.